Thursday, March 05, 2009


March 4th, 2009. Magdalena and I discovered we were at the same concert at Six Flags Great Adventure many years ago. It was a MONKEYS concert, and Magdalena was there with her father, I was there with some friends, getting high, eating cotton candy and finding out FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME that the mother of one of the MONKEYS invented WHITE OUT, better known then as LIQUID PAPER. And that's why THAT particular MONKEY did not, or would not go on tour. He was too good to be singing I'M A BELIEVER at that point I suppose with his mother's fancy LIQUID PAPER money, WHOOPY FUCKING DOO! But Magdalena was there, and I was there, and I think about friends and lovers all the time in the missed cross hairs of time. There we both were at the MONKEYS concert though, YEARS before we were friends or even knew one another. How close were we to one another? Did we make eye contact? I'm always seeing people in the world and thinking, "WILL I EVER KNOW THAT PERSON?" Was I thinking that back then when seeing Magdalena with her father? I remember eating cotton candy and jerking off my boyfriend on the last car of the roller coaster. He wanted a blowjob, but it was too much to negotiate as it turned out. But Magdalena, did I see her then? Once when sleeping in my old boyfriend Marwan's bed next to him I dreamt that when we were little boys we were eating in a diner with our families at different tables. I walked over to where he was sitting, his five year old hands drinking from a large glass of milk, and I said, pointing right at his face, "I'm going to know you one day, and Love you." The best part of the dream is that none of the adults noticed, and said nothing, and saw nothing, and Marwan looked at me with his milk moustache and nodded, and smiled. When we woke and he was cooking us breakfast I told him my dream and it was one of the few times I ever saw him cry.

Am I supposed to be writing about the tour Dear Sara Diary? The drive across this country, which I LOVE SO COMPLETELY I RISK SOUNDING CORNY OR SLIGHTLY INSANE WHEN SAYING SO, is sublime, especially when next to a good friend. We picked up Aaron in St. Louis, ate some delicious noodles, and drove to Columbia. My friend Marsha Goldberg's house is where we are right now. Marsha went to work and Magdalena and Aaron are still asleep. Our reading was funny last night, I mean, not what I had imagined, but it turned out pretty good in the end. Except Magdalena was stressed out, and said some snippy things to me, which I believe she didn't mean, but it made me angry, and not respond well. But that's bound to happen. I love Magdalena, she's a sister, and I really mean she's a sister, blood sister. Aaron is marvelous and started off the reading for a very tough crowd, but his passages about orgies in the bible got them to pay attention.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

great ..thanks for sharing.....

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