Saturday, April 22, 2006

OPEN LETTER TO JIM

Dear Jim,

Now Kate in her post below said I was going to be sarcastic, but I am too fascinated to be sarcastic. I have many questions for you, like:

1) Did you get paid anything or do they just give you all that free shit?

2) How much make-up did you have to wear?

3) They cleaned up your room, but they didn't install any bookshelves. Where are your books now?

4) When did Kat know she was going to be on the show? Did you guys stage the whole thing or was it an honest date?

5) Since Kate Pringle was number four on your crush list for a while, how come she didn't get to be in one of those orange circles and say that she wouldn't date you? Is it because she's a lesbian?

6) Kate says you live alone. I say there's no way you live alone; you live in NY. I'm right, aren't I?

7) Are you going to keep those pictures above your bed?

8) Do you think you'll get your own show? I think you would be a good late night kinda guy. You seemed really comfortable in front of the camera. Just as sassy as in real life.

9) Could you really hear that narrator guy or did you have to pretend and answer questions that you never heard? It sure did sound like he was in a studio.

10) Kate says you probably joined a gym now. I say you didn't. I lost a bunch of weight when I stopped eating soda and cookies. It was cool because I didn't have to work out. Can you do a pull-up yet?

Thanks!

-- Maggie

1 comment:

Behrle, Prince of Trolls said...

1) Did you get paid anything or do they just give you all that free shit? SOME CLOTHES, SNEAKERS, $1200, MADE OVER ROOM, A FISH (NAMED "THE HOST" (NICKNAMED PEPPER) AFTER THE HOST, WHO DIED A WHILE AGO).

2) How much make-up did you have to wear? THEY POWDERED ME IN THE STUDIO, BUT VERY LITTLE. BALD GUYS CAN BE TROUBLE ON TV, AND SOME TIMES THEY'D HAVE TO COVER PIMPLES OR WHATEVER, BUT NOT THEATRICAL MAKE-UP OR ANYTHING.

3) They cleaned up your room, but they didn't install any bookshelves. Where are your books now? I HAVE VERY FEW BOOKS LEFT OVER FROM ALL MY MOVES. I DON'T DO THAT THING THAT POETS DO: KEEPING EVERY BOOK EVER. NOT ANY MORE. I HAVE A DUFFEL BAG FULL OF BOOKS AND I TEND TO GIVE A LOT AWAY.

4) When did Kat know she was going to be on the show? Did you guys stage the whole thing or was it an honest date? I MET CAT AT THE TORCH READING IN JANUARY, PUT HER ON CRUSH LIST, WAS CAST ON SHOW AND THEY BROUGHT IN A LOT OF PEOPLE FROM THE CRUSH LIST--NOTHING WAS STAGED. I DIDN'T REALLY KNOW HER, SHE WAS UNSURE WHETHER SHE WANTED TO GO ON TV DATE BUT ULTIMATELY DID. WE WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK TO EACH OTHER FOR LIKE TWO MONTHS BEFORE THE DATE.

5) Since Kate Pringle was number four on your crush list for a while, how come she didn't get to be in one of those orange circles and say that she wouldn't date you? Is it because she's a lesbian? TIMING. FILM WAS SHOT LAST YEAR, KATE WAS JUST ON LIST.

6) Kate says you live alone. I say there's no way you live alone; you live in NY. I'm right, aren't I? I HAVE A ROOMMATE.

7) Are you going to keep those pictures above your bed? THE PICTURES OF MYSELF TIMOTHY SHOT? I DON'T KNOW WHERE ELSE TO PUT THEM. I WILL PROBABLY MOVE IN THE NEXT MONTH OR SO, I HAVEN'T THOUGHT ABOUT MOVING THEM SINCE WE SHOT THE SHOT OF HANGING THEM.

8) Do you think you'll get your own show? I think you would be a good late night kinda guy. You seemed really comfortable in front of the camera. Just as sassy as in real life. I WILL HAVE A CAMEO ON ANOTHER PROGRAM VERY SOON. WITH DETAILS TO FOLLOW. I DON'T KNOW WHAT OTHER PROJECTS WILL PRESENT THEMSELVES.

9) Could you really hear that narrator guy or did you have to pretend and answer questions that you never heard? It sure did sound like he was in a studio. I COULD SEE AND HEAR HIM. I CAN'T TALK ABOUT THE TECHNOLOGY OF THE SHOW ONLINE. BUT I WAS LOOKING AT HIM AND TALKING WITH HIM WHILE BEING INTERVIEWED.

10) Kate says you probably joined a gym now. I say you didn't. I lost a bunch of weight when I stopped eating soda and cookies. It was cool because I didn't have to work out. Can you do a pull-up yet? I CAN PROBABLY DO A PULL-UP. I HURT MY WRIST A WHILE BACK, BUT I COULD PROBABLY DO A PULL-UP. I HAVEN'T JOINED A GYM. I WILL RUN WITH STACEY'S BOOTCAMP A FEW TIMES IN THE COMING WEEKS TO CATCH UP WITH PEOPLE. I'VE FELT A LOT OF PRESSURE TO KEEP THE WEIGHT OFF, BUT HAVEN'T REALLY WORKED OUT SINCE. EATING LESS. SNACKING LESS. DIET SODAS.

Thanks for watching. There should be footage at vh1.com's v-spot of the 6 month after footage in which I watch the episode. Worth watching: you may need a pc!

xxxjimmy